


A Deeper Understanding

by KibaSin



Series: Past Time [23]
Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Naruto
Genre: F/M, Memories, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-18
Updated: 2013-07-18
Packaged: 2017-12-20 14:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/888183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KibaSin/pseuds/KibaSin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke wonders why his brother destroyed the Uchiha Clan, besides to test his strength. While resting in the hospital, he remembers a girl his brother had been fond of. Another Uchiha… a girl who…</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Deeper Understanding

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any material belonging to the creators of Inuyasha or Naruto.

* * *

" _Foolish brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to life_."

The words haunted him as he tossed and turned in the bed they'd placed him within. They were the same words that had been spoken to him a few days ago, yet the wound was still bleeding, tearing at his insides. The bastard. His very brother, who claimed he wasn't worth killing! Claimed that he'd killed their entire Clan simply because he'd wanted to test his strength and they were all beneath him. The words had fallen from the very mouth that he'd grown to detest, wishing nothing more than to kill the bastard who'd taken away his family.

And to think he'd once thought he loved him. That Itachi was the greatest brother in the world. The strongest, and the coolest. The brother that he could look up to and hope to become like! Well, he didn't wish to any longer, for he knew what type of a monster his brother really was. That his brother was nothing more than a bastard who needed to be killed in order for everything to fall back into place. Even if it wouldn't bring them back.

In his mind he could see his brother taunting him, the words echoing over and over again. Each time he tried to pull away they would grip him with razor sharp claws and instantly bring him back to begin again. To once more show him that not even his sensei could defeat his brother. That his brother was nothing more than a monster that needed to be killed.

But couldn't be!

Sasuke sat up suddenly, remembering only the glinting of metal from his dream when he awoke. He was glad, for his body shook with clear signs that what he'd seen was enough to make him wish to simply crawl into the darkness hole and cry. His own brother mocked him, laughed at him at the fact that he wasn't strong enough to defeat him. That he had been twice as strong by the time he was the same age as he was now. He knew it was true, but it wasn't something that he wished to admit to, especially not at this moment and time.

Running his hand through his hair, he looked around the annoyingly white room that he'd been placed within. Kakashi-sensei had insisted that he rest for as long as he could, especially with his brother still haunting him subconsciously. He wanted to leave, simply because he felt calmer within his own apartment, having left the Uchiha District many years ago. He'd feel safer there, but he knew that it wasn't safe. Not with his brother still out there.

Hell, he wasn't even sure if the hospital was safe anymore. But he'd listen to Kakashi-sensei's orders for the time being. He'd stay simply because he did need to recover. He needed to recover enough that he could force the haunting words away and then finally begin to move forward once more. To forget about his brother for the time being, but to subconsciously continue to train, to try and reach the level his brother had reached. To hope that he could someday, and hope that he'd be able to kill the bastard who dared call him his brother.

Deep down he whined and cried, wanting to know why Itachi was doing all these horrible things. Joining Akatsuki was not something that he had ever imagined anyone he knew doing. Especially not his brother. The brother he'd once cared so much for. Yet it was strange to know that his brother also merely left Kakashi-sensei with merely a wound, instead of killing him like he could have. It was not something that he would have thought a person in Akatsuki would do. So why had Itachi done it?

A small voice in the back of his head began to cry again.  _Why! Why, Itachi! Why did you do it? Why did you kill them all? Why didn't you just kill me as well? Why! Why!_  He shook it away, knowing that they were questions that he wished he could have answered. Itachi should have owed him that much, but his brother had never been one for talking, and that was still the case. He knew he'd most likely have a sword through his gut than ever get his answers.

Staring at the wall across the room, Sasuke mentally shoved all of these thoughts aside. He needed to be thinking about ways of killing his brother, of avenging his family, not trying to talk to the bastard. Still, that didn't stop the fact that he wanted to know why Itachi had killed them all. He wanted to know if it was truly to merely test his strength, or something entirely different. After all, he'd never really understood his brother and he doubted he'd come to understand his line of thinking within the next few minutes. He doubted that anyone except for Itachi himself would ever come to understand why his brother was so twisted, but he wished he could understand. He wished he knew why all this had happened and why they couldn't have just been a happy family like before.

Now, though, he knew that would never be. They'd never be able to be a family beside they were dead! Itachi had killed them! They'd been dead for years and he needed to come to understand that. He needed to accept it, Kakashi-sensei had once told him, and move on with his life. But he couldn't. He clung to the hope that maybe Itachi and him could settle their differences and maybe one day be a family to a certain extent. But his hope had been crushed by Itachi's cold words, the words that told him that his brother was waiting for the killing blow only he might be able to give him.

" _Foolish brother, if you wish to kill me, hate me, detest me, and survive in an unsightly way. Run, run and cling to life._ "

Reaching his hand up to grip his hair once more, he wished he hadn't thought of it. Then the words would have left him alone and he wouldn't have to listen to them again. But he hadn't merely let it be and instead allowed them to flow into his mind like water, mocking him again and again. With the possibilities of what his brother could have also meant rushing through his mind, though it was clear what his brother had truly meant. Itachi wanted for him to continue running, trying to become the same level that he was, and hope to one day kill him. He was expecting it from him.

Resting his head on the pillow on the bed, Sasuke began to stare at the ceiling. He was alone. Isolated. No one would ever be able to understand his pain. At least not to the extent that he'd pushed himself to. There were many people who'd do anything to get close to him simply because of what he represented, but no one simply because he was Sasuke. He was a sad little boy who wanted to have his family back. No one accepted him that way… except for maybe Naruto. He smiled bitterly; knowing that that wasn't even a possibility since he wasn't into guys and he knew Naruto liked Hyuuga Hinata. Still, as a friend the dobe was pretty good.

Even if he wouldn't admit it to anyone but himself.

 _Itachi… what is it that I don't understand_ , Sasuke thought, rolling onto his side.  _Why is it that you killed them and then ran off? Why didn't you allow me to face the same fate? Do you truly want me to kill you, or is there more that I do not understand?_ He clung to these thoughts, gripping each one of them as if they were precious drops of water and he was in need of them.

His mind went back to times when he'd roam the Uchiha District with either his brother, or in search of him. He wasn't sure why, but many of the times he remembered his brother searching out something as well, and sometimes there'd be another person with them. He'd been jealous at the person for taking the attention of his brother, but he'd blocked the memories so much that he really couldn't remember most of it. As if it was hazy and unclear. Sometimes his brother would be with the person, or shooting jealous looks toward a boy who seemed to have a fancy for the person. This led him to believe it was a girl, even with the memory unclear, because his brother had never showed any interest in the male population. Not that he'd ever shown much to the females, either, but it was more than the males. Normally he'd been devoted to training or hanging out with him, but whenever he wasn't it was usually the women he'd be polite to.

He knew the other person had always been within the Uchiha District, so that led him to believe it was another Uchiha. But he wasn't positive. It wasn't often that others came in unless under business, but she was there more so than anyone else. So, it must have been another Uchiha, though why the memories were beginning to fester in his mind wasn't something he understood either. It wasn't like he needed to know what his brother had used to love to do during his free time… or better yet. He didn't want to know.

Emotions that he'd locked away began coming forth with each memory, each one almost feeling like the haze was beginning to fall away. As each memory past by the emotions he felt began to change. First he'd been jealous at the person for taking his brother's attention and then he began to feel like the person was very close to him. Then, to his confusion, he became jealous with his brother for a short period of time… before even that faded into the background. Only happiness was what was left, for not only his brother but for the girl. A hope for something beginning to rise, though it was crushed and rebuilt many times. The times that they fought, to the times that his brother would uncharacteristically pull her into his arms and simply hug her.

Shaking his head, Sasuke wondered what any of those things had to do with his questions. Nothing. Or he believed it to be nothing, since there was nothing he could truly find within any of them. Though he could remember a softness in his brother's eyes, almost like he'd agreed with himself finally and was going to do something life changing. He remembered asking him once, only to be shot a glare for putting Itachi into the position of being questioned by their parents. Obviously they hadn't even known about the girl.

 _Kagome_ , his mind supplied.

Frowning, he turned to his other side, once more trying to fall into sleep. He knew he wouldn't be able to, but that didn't stop him from trying. At least in order to escape the memories that began to haunt him. He didn't know that his simple few questions would cause his mind to begin going over the strange behavior his brother had shown for quite a few months before he'd destroyed their Clan. It was annoying and he didn't even think he could remember the girl.

 _Kagome_ , he remembered hearing his brother whisper.  _Kagome_ , he remembered hearing a boy shout.  _Kagome_ , he remembered shouting himself.  _Kagome_ , a woman called.  _Kagome, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome, Kagome… Kagome… Kagome…_

The word swam together until he could barely recognize it, though he was positive he'd caught it the first time. What did  _Kagome_  have to do with anything, though? Yes, he could remember that his brother had seemed to show her more attention than anyone besides himself, but that didn't mean anything. His brother could have had a crush on her, though even that was laughable. The cold Itachi having a crush.  _Yeah, when pigs fly_.

Still, his eyes drifted closed once more, and he found himself standing within the Uchiha District once more. He knew he was dreaming, he did, but that didn't stop him from moving as he was guessed he was supposed to within it. He began running, shouting a name that he'd known all too well before finally coming to a stop in the darkness, and allowing people to merely stare at him in confusion. No one would harm him, he knew, for he was the head's youngest son, but concern for his brother washed over him. His father had sent him to find him and he would.

He felt like he was drifting through a memory as he walked down street upon street, sometimes venturing into alleys in search of his older brother. It wasn't about an hour later that he was ready to give up and simply return home to tell his father. Then his father would scowl and tell him to go to bed, before waiting for Itachi to return home. But he didn't want Itachi to get in trouble and get angry with him. He loved his brother and he didn't want him to show anything but the same emotion in return.

So, Sasuke continued searching, hunting underneath even the smallest of things, scaring cats whenever he found one for his own amusement. Then it began to get darker, and he whimpered into the darkness, wishing that he had decided to go home. Then he wouldn't be out here in the dark all by himself, while everyone else was obviously in bed or going to be retreating to their soon. He knew he'd be able to find his way home, and he'd probably find his brother already there, but he stayed for a few more moments and finally turned in defeat.

"Kagome," he heard from an alley he hadn't past down. He brightened at the name, knowing the girl because she hung around his brother a lot. They trained together at times, while sometimes they simply tried to keep within each other's presence. He knew that his brother was rather fond of the girl, treating her differently than most people, and he nearly skipped toward where he'd heard the voice. The voice that he could have sworn…

"Itachi?"

Sasuke brightened further, instantly knowing that the voice had been that of his brother. It meant that he'd wait until Itachi was done talking to Kagome and then he'd go home with him. He began running toward the voices, never really catching most of the conversation until he turned a corner and found his brother pressing the girl up against a wall. He stopped in confusion, wondering why his brother was acting so protective; holding Kagome there like he'd just caught his prey.

"I don't want to, Itachi," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his brother. Sasuke watched as his brother merely pushed closer to her, his hands still centered on the wall in front of him. It trapped Kagome between Itachi and the wall, and he wondered why exactly his brother was doing such a thing. Why was he gazing at Kagome in such a way, with the Sharingan no less.

His brother placed his face on her neck, placing what looked to be a kiss there. Sasuke blushed, quickly hiding behind the corner as his brother kissed his way up so that his mouth was resting against her ear. "I won't let them," Itachi said. Sasuke blinked, wanting to know why his brother suddenly seemed to possessive, why he was declaring things like that.

He saw tears in Kagome's eyes and watched as they began to fall from her eyes. "They've already… Itachi they've… I don't want to marry him, even if it won't be for a few years," she whimpered, wrapping her arms tighter around his brother. His eyes widened, for he hadn't known that Kagome was arranged to be married. His jaw dropped, watching as Itachi clamped his mouth down onto her neck and began sucking, almost like the skin mark would stop the marriage from happening. "Itachi… I… I lov—"

Sasuke blushed harder when his brother clamped his mouth over Kagome's, tilting her head to the side in order to not knock their noses together. He knew what Kagome was going to say and was slightly surprised that his brother hadn't allowed her to finish proclaiming her love to him. He wondered slightly if it was because Itachi simply knew, or because he didn't want to hear it at the moment. Not after hearing that Kagome was going to be married off to someone. After all, Itachi seemed to like Kagome, so why hadn't he allowed her to say it in return? Unless… Itachi didn't like Kagome that much…

His brother's hands found themselves on Kagome's hips, lifting the girl from the ground as he continued to attack her mouth. Sasuke didn't know what was happening and he was sure he didn't want to, but he watched as the tears Kagome was producing dripped onto his brother's face where they were forgotten. Though blushing, he was saddened at the fact that his brother liked Kagome and she was going to be marrying someone else.

Kagome pulled away finally, whispering, "Itachi…?"

Itachi seemed to growl, pressing her up against the wall once more. His eyes, even from Sasuke's view, were staring into hers with possessiveness and desire. "I won't allow it to happen," Itachi spat. "I won't."

Tears began falling from Kagome's eyes. "But…"

"You're mine," Itachi snarled. "Mine, and I won't allow anyone else to have you!"

Sasuke's eyes widened upon hearing the words that left his brother's mouth. His jaw dropped open once more, not really understanding to what level his brother had just claimed Kagome. He listened as Itachi began telling her to run away and how he'd come to find her. He listened as Kagome argued that the rest of the Clan would come in search for her, before Itachi pressed her tighter against the wall. He heard something along the lines of, "I'll take care of it, just wait for me," before he finally turned tail and ran. He was sure he wasn't supposed to be hearing this. Itachi wouldn't like it that he was listening to it… to them as they plotted something.

* * *

Sasuke awoke suddenly, looking over to find Sakura and Naruto standing over him. He blinked a few times, wondering just how long he'd been asleep, since he was positive it had been completely pitch black when he'd finally drifted into his dream-like memory.

 

"Oh, did we wake you, Sasuke?" Sakura blinked, smiling weakly at him. "I'm so sorry if we did."

Shaking his head, he muttered, "No."

Sakura smiled.

Naruto pouted, simply looking down at him while he got all the attention.

And, like usual, Kakashi-sensei was nowhere to be seen.

Bringing his hand up, Sasuke brushed his hair back, before turning his head toward the window. The image he'd seen, he was sure, was just a few weeks before the Clan had been slaughtered. He remembered that Kagome disappeared, but he was sure she was with Itachi. Either that or she'd vanished during some time.

Sighing, Sasuke ignored the others. He felt like he could almost understand why his brother destroyed the Clan, but he was still confused. Deeply, for he almost thought for a moment that he heard his brother's voice in his head once more. But the words weren't cruel and cold, but warm and caring. The words lingered in his mind for only a moment, and then they were gone. They were, "I love you, Kagome," but he wasn't actually sure if he'd ever heard his brother say such a thing. Never. But he could almost feel as if he knew what they were doing at that exact moment.

* * *

A woman smiled, "I love you."

The usually cold male turned to give her a strange look and nodded. He'd heard it many times, but frowned when she did. Sighing, he muttered, "I love you, Kagome."

Kagome smiled. She knew she'd told him many times, but she was happy with him. Even if he was now with Akatsuki. Yes, he'd killed everyone she'd once loved, but he'd done it so that they could be together. Yes, she'd been angry with him for a long time, but she felt she shouldn't be angry with him anymore. She smiled brighter, "Thank you."

He nodded once more, resting his hand on her shoulder. He hadn't told her, but he'd do anything for her. No one would ever know, but she was his weakness. He truly loved her, even if he didn't sound like it. A smirk formed on his lips as his thoughts turned to that of his brother. Little Sasuke. The boy needed to be stronger if he wanted to truly survive, to hope to get through some of the missions he might be sent on. A part of him wished that was the reason he sought to make his brother train harder, but another piece of him wanted to make him understand why he'd killed their Clan. Why he couldn't allow Kagome to marry another man.

His hand twitched. He wasn't even sure if Sasuke could ever understand such a thing. The boy was far too young. Besides, none of the kunoichi Sasuke could ever meet would be like his Kagome. None of them, and for that he was happy. Even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

_\--Fin_


End file.
